Testing the Waters - Part 2

In Testing the Waters – Part 1, we discussed the importance of delivering Torah to our children in its original, pure form.

What inspections can we do on our pipelines to ensure a pure, undiluted delivery? And if we find fault in our pipelines, is it wrong to continue teaching that with which we (still) have challenges?

Let us first address the second question:

Hashem created us with our shortcomings and gave the Yetzer Hara the job of adding to them. Yet, having blessed us with the responsibility of educating His children, Hashem expects us to deliver, despite our shortcomings. And while we must continuously strive to overcome and correct our shortcomings, they must not hold us back.

Are we lying by teaching when we still have challenges or questions? As long as we are honest in recognizing that these are our challenge and not a fault in The Source, the answer is: No. We are not lying. Hashem expects us to keep our personal struggles to ourselves, and keep doing our best in educating our children Al Taharas Hakodesh.

Let us explore a few areas to inspect:

1. It is easy for a personal struggle with a specific Mitzvah to taint our Chinuch of that Mitzvah. We may have had a challenging upbringing, poor education or "tasted waters from a rusty pipe". We must not allow these challenges to contaminate our delivering these Mitzvos to our children.

Even if in the past the Yetzer Hara was able to convince us that our Avodah is difficult, impossible or unimportant, when teaching someone else about that Mitzvah, we must teach it “purely”, as it is taught in the Torah - without diluting it with our interpretations, perceptions or challenges.

2. Don't educate when angry. The pure Torah message we are trying to impart will be lost and contaminated with the fear or resentment our children will feel as a result of our anger.

Of course, sometimes we are angry, yet must step in to address a behavior in the moment. However, we must leave the actual education for when we are calm.

3. Do not make the Yiddishkeit a "personal" matter. True, we are charged with the task of educating and inspiring our children to grow in their Avodas Hashem, and we must invest ourselves personally in fulfilling this Tafkid. We may even take pride in our accomplishments...

Yet, we must remember that we are not responsible for the outcome, and we must therefore not take it personally when things do not turn out as planned. Of course, we shep nachas when we see our children going in the ways of Hashem, yet, we must not base our happiness and fulfillment on their doing so. If we do, we can be almost certain that their shortcomings will disappoint us; and we can be sure that the disappointment will show...

4. Watch out for modern influences. The Yetzer Hara is unrelenting in his quest to direct us away from a Torah true Chinuch. He continues to assault our senses through media, social pressure, etc., and ever so subtly tries to chip away at our commitment to providing a pure Yiddishe Chinuch.

It may be a new promising educational theory, a revolutionary psychological approach, or a seemingly successful yet secular parenting idea. We need to be cautious and even more so humble to recognize where the Yetzer Hara may have already imposed his limiting perspective and agendas upon us. We must prevent his influence from polluting our Chinuch in practice. 

5. Keep learning. Keep trying. Keep consulting. Keep growing.

Hashem entrusted us to be pipelines. Let us live up to the challenge, and keep only pure water flowing.

With ideas and inspiration from Parenting for All Ages by Rabbi Manis Friedman.