Wine of Hope

After revealing his identity to his brothers, Yosef instructed them to travel back to Eretz Yisroel and bring his father to Mitzrayim. Along with provisions for the way, Yosef sent a lavish gift to his father, along with - Rashi specifies - he sent aged wine.

The Rebbe teaches us that while the gift in general was a show of respect for his father, the aged wine had a double significance: it was an enhancement on the Mitzvah of Kibud Av Va'em, as aged wine is especially appreciated by older people. As well, the aged wine served as a special message for Yakov.

Our sages teach us that for the duration of Yosef's separation, the brothers did not drink wine. This was not a form of Teshuva, rather a form of mourning. 

Three Oils. One Hero.

A Chanuka Dvar Torah

When the Greeks came into the Beis Hamikdosh, they deliberately defiled the oil that was designated for the purpose of kindling the Menorah. Later, when the Chashmonaim sought to rededicate the Beis Hamikdosh, they could not find any pure oil. Eventually, they found one flask, still intact with the seal of the Kohen Gadol. However, there was only enough to last for one day... (Shabbos, 21b)

***

There were three "grades" of oil used in the Beis Hamikdosh. Oil that came from the first drop (squeeze) of the first harvest of olives, oil that came from the second drop, and oil that came from the third. 

Our sages explain that given the expense involved in harvesting and preparing the highest grade of oil, this "Grade A" oil was reserved for the Menorah, which required only 3.5 Loig per day. The lesser grades were used for the Menachos. Since Menachos require much more than 3.5 Loig on a daily basis, the costs of using only Grade A oil in such great quantities was prohibitive.

Mind the Young - the Young Mind

Unlike other nations who sought to physically annihilate the Jewish people, the Greeks enjoyed the Jewish people and their contributions in the social, financial and intellectual arenas. In fact, the Greeks had a real appreciation and deep respect for the Torah and Jewish philosophy.

However, the Greeks could not tolerate the Jews' blind faith and submission to a Higher Power. For the Greeks, everything had to make sense, logically. Thus, Kabolas Ol was something the Greeks could not comprehend nor accept.

“Do Mitzvos, learn Torah!” the Greeks argued, “we will even help you build your Yeshivos! Just go about your learning as an intellectual pursuit, but not with a blind submission to Hashem!”

Food for Talk

Someone once concluded a letter to the Rebbe saying that, in essence, he is a Jew who wants to fulfill the Mitzvos of the Torah, yet, he is not [yet] religious and does not keep Shabbos, etc.

The Rebbe addressed this apparent dichotomy in his response: As it is with one’s physical life, talking about the benefits of food, and even having a strong belief in its importance, is to no benefit. One has to actually eat the food. Furthermore, if one does not actually eat food, he will become so weak that he won’t even have strength to talk about it...

So too, with regard to spiritual “food”. One can talk about and have strong beliefs about the importance of Mitvos, and may even espouse to have a strong desire to fulfill them; nevertheless, the Neshama will not be nourished from talk and belief alone. One has to actually do the Mitzvos.

המעשה הוא העיקר

Igros Kodesh Vol 9 – Rosh Chodesh Elul 5714

Unique Opportunity!

Have you ever wanted something so deeply, that the fear of disappointment stopped you from even trying to get it? You are not alone...

Join Chaya Hinda Allen, in a live, FREE webinar, this Wednesday, November 4, 12pm EST. (Encore @ 9PM.) Chaya Hinda's techniques help us come closer to solutions and give us the strength to withstand what might be possible disappointments along the way.  

Hoping for a better tomorrow actually helps us take steps forward, and it's super powerful, as well!

I would love for you to join, Wednesday, November 4 where we will come up with real concentrated ideas that are going to help us relieve stress, rid ourselves of anxiety and fear, and anticipate a positive, successful future!

Green Stems and Red Petals

A teacher once instructed her students to take out their crayons and paper for "drawing time".

"We are now going to draw," she said.

The students took our their supplies and were just about to begin...

"Wait!" the teacher said. "I will tell you when to start..."

The teacher waited till all of the students placed their crayons back on their desks.

"Today we are going to draw a flower," she instructed.

The children picked up their crayons...

"Wait! Like this..." the teacher said. 

Walking over to the blackboard, the teacher began to draw a green stem and a flower with six red petals, and instructed the students to do the same.

The students dutifully copied the teacher's flower.

And so went art instruction in this class.

One day a child from this class visited a school in another town.

In Hot Pursuit

“Please let water be taken to wash your feet, and recline in the shade of the tree. Let me take for you some bread…”

Once they accepted his invitation, Avraham served the three angels a meal fit for a king, replete with the choicest meat, fatty cream, fresh bread and milk.

Our Chachomim learn from this that a Tzadik says little and does much. Hence, Avraham’s offer for “a little bread” was, in the end, much, much more.

The question is raised: For a Tzadik who spoke little and did much, why did Avraham elaborate so much in the beginning of his invitation. “Please let water be taken, so that you can wash your feet, and rest under the tree.” Surely, a short, “Please come wash your feet and rest” would have sufficed.

Of Lions and Children

The Medrash relates that during the Flood, Noach was once delayed when bringing food for the lion in the Teiva, and the lion attacked him because of that.

Rashi adds that this is what the Posuk means, “A Tzadik receives his ‘payment’ in this world”.

Did Noach really deserve such a punishment? Certainly, having been charged with the enormous and heroic task of caring for the survival of all the species, Noach should have been afforded a bit more consideration!

One of the answers given is especially relevant to parents and educators.

Clean Those Lenses!

So once upon a time there was a man who had a pair of lenses he would wear. One day, he got a smudge on his lenses and he didn't bother wiping it off. The next day, another smudge. He was too busy to clean them. The smudges continued to accumulate until it came to a point that he forgot that the world was actually clear and had straight, smooth lines and features. He started to believe that everything didn't just appear smudged to him, but rather the world itself was actually and truly blurry.

Until one day, someone pointed out his problem to him. He was shocked and overjoyed to realize that he had only forgotten about the importance of cleaning his lens on a regular basis. Sure enough, now he could see things as they really were and from then on, he made sure to clean his lenses anytime they got smudged, so that the accumulation wouldn't happen again. He did not want to get used to that false reality ever again.

Now of course, you have probably figured out that this story is a parable. Obviously people don't think that the world itself is blurry just because their lenses are perpetually dirty. However, I have come to realize that in fact, it is very easy for us to get smudged lenses in a different way.

Education On the Way

"Remember what Hashem has done to Miriam on the way when you have left Mitzrayim."

Why does the Torah tell us when Miriam's punishment took place?

Wouldn't it have sufficed to just remind the Yidden of the punishment alone?

***

The Chofetz Chaim was once travelling in a train. He watched a woman get up and open the window near her seat. A minute later the woman's daughter got up to close the window. The woman got up again to open it, and her daughter came shortly thereafter to close it.

Appealing Apples

The little bird was perched atop a high branch enjoying the summer breeze. Suddenly, the tree began swaying, as a bear began to climb the trunk.

“What are you looking for?” asked the bird.

“Don’t mind me, Birdie,” answered the bear. “I came up here to eat apples…”

“But Bear, this isn't an apple tree,” the bird pointed out. “There are no apples here!”

“That’s ok,” answered the bear. “I brought my own apples.”

***

Rebbi says that the desired path in life for man to choose for himself, is one that serves to beautify its followers, and brings beauty to those around him. (Avos 2:1)

A number of questions arise at first glance:

Three Jews, One Truth

A Chossid once consulted with his Rebbe, “I heard that it’s a good segulah for Parnasa to say Parshas Hamon (the portion of the Torah that describes the Jews’ eating the Mon in the desert).”

His Rebbe answered: “True, it is. But only if it is said before eight o’clock in the morning. After eight o’clock, you need to go out and work…”

***

Parnasa comes from Hashem. And, Hashem tells us what we need to do in order to receive it: וברכך בכל אשר תעשה. Parnasa will come in that which you do. Meaning, Hashem is commanding us to make a vessel in nature, a conduit through which His blessings will reach us.

The Hidden Mitzvah

The Chofetz Chaim once traveled with a Talmid in a taxi cab. After paying the driver, the Chofetz Chaim pointed out to the Talmid that he just did a Mitzah.

“What Mitzvah?” the Talmid asked, “He provided a service, so I had to pay him!”

The Chofetz Chaim explained:
You just fulfilled the Mitzvah of ביומו תתן שכרו, to pay a day-laborer on the day he did the work for you.

Rabbi Chananya Ben Akashia said:
רצה הקב"ה לזכות את ישראל לפיכך הרבה להם תורה ומצוות
Hashem wanted to give us opportunities to be meritorious (or, to refine us), therefore He gave us many Mitzvos. (Makos 23b)

The Fool's Vacation

Regardless of the importance of what we do, we cannot ignore our need to eat, drink, sleep… even breathe.  Hashem created us with certain physical limitations, and in order to focus on our Tafkid we must take the time, however short or long, to tend to these “limitations”.

It follows, that “taking a break” or vacationing, is not something that a Yid chooses to do, per se. A Yid takes breaks so that he can continue his work afterwards with refreshed energy and focus.

Taking a break, while ignoring our true “needs”, can actually have the opposite effect on the very health we sought to improve...

Thriving vs. Surviving

It was the summer of 5626-1866. The Rebbe Rashab, who was a young boy at the time, had a debate with his older brother Zalman Ahron about the uniqueness of a Jew. Zalman Ahron argued that Yidden are special because they learn Torah, Daven, etc.

“But what about those who don’t?” asked the Rashab, “What is special about them?”

Zalman Ahron did not have what to answer, and the conversation came to the attention of the Rebbe Maharash.

The Rebbe asked the Rashab to call the servant Bentzion. The conversation, as retold by the Frierdiker Rebbe, went like this:

The Rebbe Maharash: “Bentzion, did you eat?”

Bentzion: “Yes.”

The Rebbe: “Did you eat well?”

Bentzion: “What does ‘well’ mean? I am satisfied, Boruch Hashem.”

Educating the Extraordinary

On the way to “bless” the Benei Yisroel, Bilam’s donkey saw Hashem’s angel with a drawn sword in its hand. Fearing for its life and the life of its master, the donkey tried to prevent Bilam from proceeding with his journey. At first the donkey strayed from the path, then, when passing through a narrow passage, the donkey leaned into the wall, crushing Bilam’s foot. Finally, the donkey sat down on the road and refused to continue traveling.

Not having seen the angel himself, Bilam thought that the donkey was being disobedient. He reacted the way any master would when addressing a disobedient animal; he hit the donkey each of the three times it deviated from what he wanted it to do.

In the end, Hashem opened Bilam’s eyes, and he saw the angel who then criticized Bilam, “Why did you hit your donkey three times…?”

No Compromise

In honor of Yud Beis Tammuz – the Frierdiker Rebbe’s birthday and day of liberation from Soviet prison. 

When the Russian government systematically shut down the Jewish infrastructure in Russia, the Frierdiker Rebbe sent his students to reopen the Mikvaos, schools, etc. Without regard to personal suffering or hardship, these holy students carried out this mission, oftentimes giving up their very lives in doing so. HY”D.

Undeterred by the relentless efforts to of the Russian government, the Frierdiker Rebbe forged ahead.

Disregarding the terrible danger he was putting himself in, the Rebbe single-handedly ran the operation of keeping the Jewish flame alive in Russia.

A Blessing for Life

There is a custom among Zanz-Klausenberg Chassidim that the Rebbe throws apples to his followers, and it is said that the one who catches one is blessed with immense riches for the coming year.

Understandably, the large crowd of Chassidim who push to get an apple creates a potentially dangerous situation.

One year, the son of the Divrei Chaim of Zanz asked his father to abolish this custom. After refusing to uproot a custom that was kept for so many years, the son asked that the Rebbe at least announce that whoever will push, will receive ten years of poverty R”L instead of a blessing for riches. Again, the Rebbe refused. “The Chassidim come to be for Brochos, and I will give them the opposite?”

Of Seeds and Saplings - Part 3

Per a recent comment, here is a discussion on where, how and why compromises affect children.

To understand this we need to elaborate a little more on the analogy of the sapling... 

A sapling is pure and fragile. Its entire future hangs in the balance of proper nurture and protection throughout its "saplinghood". It requires proper nurture and care.

Of equal importance, it must also be guarded from extreme weather and protected from any damage. With a proper commitment, it will develop into a strong, healthy tree, capable of withstanding the toughest conditions and climates - even dents and scratches.

However, if it is exposed - even just barely - to rough elements, or sustains even a tiny damage early on, the effects will be evident in its poor development, and incapability of weathering even the slightest changes in climate later on.

Of Seeds and Saplings - Part 2

Psychiatrist: Do you hear voices?
Patient: No.
Psychiatrist: Do you ever think of hurting yourself?
Patient: No.
Psychiatrist: Do you steal?
Patient: No.
Psychiatrist: Do you drink? Smoke?
Patient: No, and no.
Psychiatrist: So why are you here?
Patient: Well… I have this problem; I tend to lie a little.

***

על כל פשעים תכסה האהבה

As humans, we often excuse or even ignore our faults or those of someone we love.

While this trait can be utilized to overcome differences between people and their loved ones, the Yetzer Hara utilizes this natural tendency to excuse the weakening of our resolve in giving our children a Torah-true Chinuch.

My Relationship with Hashem - Do I Have One?

Do I have a relationship with Hashem?

The simple answer is: Yes. Every single Jew has a personal and unique relationship with Hashem. 

But, do I sense my relationship with Hashem?  And if I do, does it bring up feelings of love? Anger? Indifference?  

***

Learning Torah and doing Mitzvos is valued by Hashem, even when it is done by rote or without specific intention to develop a relationship with Him. However, such an Avodah lacks the vitality and warmth that is the hallmark of a real relationship with Hashem. 

In order for our Avodah to have vitality, warmth and purpose, we need to give it meaning by developing our relationship with Hashem.

You may find the following "self-test" helpful for getting an idea of the current state of your relationship with Hashem, and use the ideas and inspiration below to further enhance it.

Of Seeds and Saplings - Part 1

The farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood, scooping up the wayward birds and returned them to the repaired crate.

Hoping he had found them all, the boy returned home...

"Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them."

"Well, you did real good, son," the farmer beamed. "I sent you home with seven."

***

We Daven to Hashem that we merit seeing the results of our Avodah. Sometimes Hashem blesses us with results that surpass our expectations. Other times, we need a strong Emunah and Bitachon to stay committed...

One Baby, One Message

In one of the most famous court cases ever recorded, Shlomo Hamelech was asked to rule on a truly difficult case: the two women who each claimed that the baby belonged to them. The wise king ruled that the baby should be split (!), and each woman would get one half of the baby. 

Immediately one woman cried out in protest and said that she gives up her claim to the baby, lest the baby be hurt. Shlomo Hamelech then granted the baby to her, because she was obviously the natural mother, having exhibited the true motherly love to a child.

While the logic seems pretty straightforward, there is something puzzling about the ruling. How did Shlomo Hamelech take the risk of ordering to "split the baby"? Is it not possible that the other woman would have protested and ask not to cut it? Or, perhaps the real mother would be so shocked, that by the time she realized what was happening, her baby would be...?

How did Shlomo Hamelech take this risk?

We Are Now Dot Com

Mr. Fisherman once went to Mr. Sign-maker to design a placard for his marketplace stall. the sign would read: "We Sell Fresh Fish Daily Here". 

After figuring the cost of materials and labor Mr. Fisherman realized that he needed to seriously shorten his message to stay within his budget. 

"Well, obviously the fish would be sold "here", why else would I put the sign up at this stall? And I'm obviously selling the fish, not giving it away... and who else owns this stall if not the "we" standing there? And people can see that it's fish, and they can smell that it's fresh... and that we do this every day..." He left without making the sign.

***

While we are did not do away with our name completely, we did shorten our web address to www.hereforhashem.com .We hope this change will make it easier to share our blog with others... 

Subscribers to our email updates will continue receiving updates as we post new content. Pst! If you have not yet subscribed, use the form on the top right to get updates straight to your inbox... (mobile users: scroll down to the bottom of the page). Look out for the subscription confirmation email and be sure to confirm your subscription. 

Thank you for visiting, following and sharing!

Silly Fish

Based on a letter from the Rebbe - 10 Sivan 1981

There are things that Man is able to control and change, and those which he cannot.

In general, the faculties of thought, speech and action are given to Man to control. He can use his thoughts, speech and action as he wishes. However, his essence, being a Human, and the details of his creation such as his eye color, skin color, etc... These - his very being - he cannot change.

The essence of a Jew is the same. It cannot be changed.

Regardless of where a Jew lives, his level of education, religious observance, occupation, etc. since he is a Jew, a part of the Jewish nation, he or she is a child of Avraham, Yitzchok, Yakov, Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel and Leah.

Dollars, Change and Sense

A business owner once asked a group of professionals: “What do you get when you add 100 + 100?”

The statistician said, “If you disregard a negligible percentage of odd cases, in most instances it would equal 200”

The economist answered: “It would depend on whether the value of the second 100 depreciated by the time the equation is factored…”

The engineer answered: “200, if you can ascertain they will hold together...”

The accountant looked around and whispered: “What do you need it to be?”

A tremendous part of Emunah and Bitachon is being able to distinguish between that which is in our hands to change and that which is not. Without this insight, one is liable to squander opportunities for making real change in an area that he can affect, while wasting his time and energy trying to change that which he cannot.

The Power of Imperfection

The Gemara records a truly remarkable exchange between Moshe, Hashem and the angels that took place when Moshe ascended to receive the Torah for the Yidden.

In one part of the exchange, when Hashem tells Moshe to answer the angels’ claim to keep the Torah, Hashem says: החזר להם תשובה – give them an answer.

Why does Hashem not use an expression הען להם, תן להם מענה - all more common ways of saying “answer them”?

To understand this expression, we must first understand the angels’ argument to Hashem. 

Counting Zeros... and Ones

A Chosid once shared with his Rebbe a concern he had about his father-in-law.

"Rebbe," the Chossid began, "I am sure it's not Lashon Hara, because I am concerned for his welfare..." He went on to tell his Rebbe that his father-in-law does not Daven. Anything.

"I even know where he keeps his Tallis, and kept a close watch and saw that it sits there for days on end... Rebbe, I'm begging you, please speak with him. Try to inspire him... I mean this for his benefit!"

After a few requests, the Rebbe called in the father-in-law to discuss the matter.

The father-in-law was straightforward. "Rebbe, I may not be a Tzaddik, but one thing I do not do: Lie. I just cannot lie, and for me to stand there every day, wrapped in my Tallis and Tefillin, and make believe that I am connecting with Hashem... when I am really thinking about everything in the world other than Him... I just cannot do it!  

"Believe me, Rebbe," he continued, "I have tried to push myself, but it's impossible. I am not really Davening. I'm just standing there, lying to the Aibershter... and to everyone around me!"

The Rebbe listened to the distraught Chossid. A true dilemma! He really was unable to "put on a show" day in day out...

Davening - the Ascent

As with the decline in Avodas Hashem, the ascent begins with Davening.

Needless to say, the Yetzer Hara does not make it easy. Hashem wants us to arouse emotion towards Him, yet, the Yetzer Hara of secular society tells us "no one can tell you how to feel"…

Yet, if Hashem expects such an Avoda from us, it must be possible.

But, how?

Firstly, we need to remember that Tefillah is an Avodah – work. As such, proper Davening does not come easy. For me, just the knowing alone that it is normal for a proper Davening to be challenging, helped me not to get discouraged and to keep trying.

Secondly, we need to remember to keep going even if it means just saying the words. An author once said that he made sure to spend time writing every day - even nonsense, because he wanted to be sure that when inspiration would hit, the pen would already be in motion. 

Davening – the Descent

Dedicated in loving memory of Chaya Basha bas Chaim Dovber, whose first Yahrtzeit was today, 29 Iyar. 

One morning last week as I was about to Daven, I took note of the mess that needed my attention. I wondered if it would be a good idea to clean up a bit before Davening... In the end I decided I’ll just read the Hayom Yom, clean a little, and then I’ll Daven.

Hayom Yom 23 Iyar,

The beginning of one’s decline, R”L, is the lack of Avoda in Davening. Everything becomes dry and cold. Even a mitzvah performed by habit becomes burdensome. Everything is rushed. One loses the sense of pleasure in Torah-study. The atmosphere itself becomes crass. Needless to say, one is totally incapable of influencing others. 

I was completely awed by the sheer Divine Providence of this Hayom Yom, as I was just about to push off my davening for something else… It also set me thinking about my own Davening journey.

Sure, a mother who has young children at home has a different set of obligations when it comes to Davening. Yet, after reading this Hayom Yom I started to wonder if perhaps I took those “leniencies” a bit too far, and, rather than utilizing these leniencies to actually bolster my Davening and serving Hashem, I was using these leniencies as excuses to lessen my Davening.

Fixing for a Living

In honor of the Bris of Menachem Mendel ben Chaim Hillel.

One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down.

The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke."

The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting gas."

The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark... something is wrong with the electrical system."

All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?"

The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."

***

Things break. That’s part of life. 

Why does Hashem create certain things "broken" in the first place?

Testing the Waters - Part 2

In Testing the Waters – Part 1, we discussed the importance of delivering Torah to our children in its original, pure form.

What inspections can we do on our pipelines to ensure a pure, undiluted delivery? And if we find fault in our pipelines, is it wrong to continue teaching that with which we (still) have challenges?

Let us first address the second question:

Hashem created us with our shortcomings and gave the Yetzer Hara the job of adding to them. Yet, having blessed us with the responsibility of educating His children, Hashem expects us to deliver, despite our shortcomings. And while we must continuously strive to overcome and correct our shortcomings, they must not hold us back.

Are we lying by teaching when we still have challenges or questions? As long as we are honest in recognizing that these are our challenge and not a fault in The Source, the answer is: No. We are not lying. Hashem expects us to keep our personal struggles to ourselves, and keep doing our best in educating our children Al Taharas Hakodesh.

Let us explore a few areas to inspect:

Testing the Waters - Part 1

There was once a man who owned a well that had the most refreshing and delicious water to be had… anywhere. For years he happily shared the water with his neighbors and with the many visitors who came from far and wide to partake in the refreshing water.

Eventually, the neighbors asked to become distributors of the special well-water from their own homes, so that it would be easier for more people to enjoy it. The neighbors planned to build pipelines that would draw water to their home, directly from the source, and they would share the water from there. And in the future, they would offer their neighbors to draw water with their pipelines, and share it with others… and so on.

The owner agreed, but with a few conditions: All materials used for any pipeline must be from the highest quality, and guaranteed to protect the water against rust and contamination. As well, each distributor must commit to test the water frequently, ensuring that the water received by the end user was as clean and fresh as it is found in the source.

Good for Nothing

Shmuel and Chaim are strolling home from Shul one Shabbos morning. Suddenly a cab speeds past, and their friend, Yossel, is seen running frantically behind it, flailing his arms wildly.

"Well," said Chaim, "I never imagined our good friend Yossel was a Mechalel Shabbos! Look at him running for that taxi."

"Wait a minute," Shmuel replied. "Didn't we just learn to judge people favorably? I'll bet we can think of hundreds of excuses for Yossel's behavior."

"Yeah, like what?"

"Maybe he's sick and needs to go to the hospital."

"Come on! He was running 60 miles an hour after that cab - he's healthier than Og Melech Habashan."

"Well, maybe his wife's having a baby."

"She just had one last week."

"Well, maybe he needs to visit her in the hospital."

"She's home."

"Well, maybe he's running to the hospital to get a doctor."

"He is a doctor."

"Well, maybe he needs supplies from the hospital..."

Let's Move!

Identifying the difference between Me, Myself, and My Yetzer Hara, was really helpful in so many ways. And yet, recently I discovered a new maneuver of the Yetzer Hara. It's the one that shows up as procrastination and paralysis.

I drop the kids off at school, go food shopping, and come home. It’s now time for the baby’s nap. So I put her to sleep and I am faced with a two-hour window of time...

Now I start a mental debate with myself. Should I daven now, or should I take a nap? After all, I am really tired today… But if I take a nap, I will wake up two hours later, and having accomplished nothing… Well at least I’ll wake up rejuvenated and then I’ll have more energy, so I may get more done later...

And so my thoughts jump back and forth, and then wander off to… "Let me just check my email for a minute. Oh, I’ll just answer this email… But, I should really go to sleep or at least daven…  But, I don’t know which is a better use of my time, so I may as well just respond to this email… and check out this promo from Kohl's… and… And? The two hours pass, and I didn't sleep, I didn't daven… and I’m left with two-hours’ worth of guilt about the time I wasted. 

... and the results are in!

A man once observed two workers on the street in front of his house. One was digging a hole in the ground, and the other was filling it up. The men kept repeating this puzzling procedure every couple of yards.

“What are you doing, wasting your time like that?” the man asked.

“We were hired by the Parks Commission to plant trees along this street,” answered the first worker.

“So where are the trees?!” the man exclaimed.

“Oh, we are a team of three,” the second worker answered. “The third guy, the tree planter, is not here today. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do our jobs…”

Flawed to Perfection

We all give our best in parenting. We learn, we try, we fall... but we never give up. 

After all, they are our children...

Yet, at times, parents feel that their physical, emotional, or spiritual limitations hinder their ability to raise and nurture their children properly. In fact, some parents may not even be around (figuratively, or G-d forbid, literally) to be a continued, hands-on partner in their child’s Chinuch…

Are these children then doomed to fail? Do these children lose out? Will these children become “damaged”?

FREE! Heading Towards Happiness

Chaya Hinda Allen is giving a free class on Positive Thinking on Monday, May 4th at 2pm EST. Eliminate fear, worry and guilt, and experience real inner peace...

Life After Tzora'as

Having worked with the Chevra Kadisha in WWII, Reb Mendel Futerfas once remarked: Much like literal death, figurative death can also be classified as one who is surrounded by people, yet he does not engage them. He is completely oblivious to what is going on around him, and absorbed in his own self. He is disconnected from the world, and does not even connect with those who may be in the same condition as he is…

Such a person lacks the vitality and energy that defines a living being; such a person is truly dead.

In this light, we can understand the the Gemara’s listing the Metzora along with the blind, the poor and the childless – all of whom the Gemara considers “dead” even during their lifetime.

Of Trunks and Branches – Part 2

Per a recent comment on the previous post Of Trunks and Branches. 

A group of hikers was being led through the wilderness by a guide. On the third day, the hikers realized that they had been travelling in circles.

"We're lost!" one of the hikers complained, "and you said you were the best guide in the United States..."

"I am," the guide answered, "but I think we may have wandered into Canada."

***

Chassidus speaks of four domains: Inanimate, Plant, Animal and Human. They differ from each other in appearance, nature, etc., yet share a common denominator: the laws that govern the nature and life of a specific domain, are tailored for the specific domain and the individual Tafkid of the beings in that domain.

Of Trunks and Branches

Two children were once looking up at the tree branches that stretched out overhead. They argued over the name of the tree to which the branches above belonged, later realizing that while the branches overlapped each other and may have seemed similar against the sky; their respective trunks were firmly rooted in different places on the ground.

The prevalence of the Torah’s truth, and the way it permeates the world Hashem created, makes it nearly impossible to explore the world without bumping into it.

As such, modern psychology and, Lehavdil, Torah may overlap at many junctures; many techniques and theories found in modern psychology mimic divine Truths and Mitzvos found in the Torah.

One can argue: what then is wrong with modern psychology? Shouldn’t a Jew be allowed to study it and apply (only) those techniques that are also found in the Torah?

The answer is in the trunk.

It Was Wrong For Me To Do That

We are all familiar with the common scenario where Child A wrongs Child B, and Mother steps in. She tells Child A how we’re supposed to act nicely, and then urges Child A to apologize and say “I’m sorry” to Child B. If Child A refuses, Mother takes the toy away or puts him in timeout until he will do so. Soon enough, Child A becomes “remorseful” and says The Words: “I’m sorry", after which he is allowed to continue playing as before.

Our primary tafkid as parents is to be involved in our children’s chinuch and, whenever necessary, to step in, discipline, acknowledge and encourage. Therefore we must be extremely mindful and aware of the subliminal messages we transmit and understand its impact on our children, especially into adulthood.

When we insist that a child say words that involve a feeling that they do not necessarily feel, we send a message: “You can say that you feel a certain way, even if you don’t, in order to get out of this unpleasant situation.” This is lying.

My Personal Exodus This Year

I worked, I planned, I hoped, I anticipated.

I was looking forward to a wonderful Seder. And indeed, we had a wonderful Seder, albeit in a very different way than I ever imagined. We had worked extra hard during the days leading up to Pesach, so it was quite calm BH on Erev Pesach, however, I was feeling a migraine gradually setting in. By the time the Seder began, it was in full force.

To appreciate my Exodus, I need to share with you how I would have reacted to such a situation in the past. I would have been angry, disillusioned and self-judging. “What’s the point of all the hard work if I can’t even enjoy the pinnacle of it all?” or, “Why does this ‘always’ happen?” or, “It’s my fault… I worked too hard and brought this upon myself. I always overdo it.” And so forth.

But this night was different…