A Mother's Prayer

All she wished was to have a righteous and pious son. 

Yet, the odds were neatly and firmly stacked against her.

Nature ruled that she would be barren; the Torah ruled הכל בידי שמים חוץ מיראת שמים, a person's righteousness cannot be destined from Above - a pious lifestyle cannot be foretold.

Thus, the odds of Chana's wish coming true were zero - it could not happen. Not by means of nature nor by the rules of the Torah.

This was reality.

Yet, Chana did not settle with this reality.

She fought to create a new one.

Who's counting?

I was expecting an important piece of mail for a few weeks, and was anxiously awaiting its arrival.

This Shabbos, I was right behind the front door when the mail fell through the mail-slot. One envelope fell onto another. I could not tell if the piece I was looking for had arrived, but another important looking envelope lay on top of the pile. It was from my mortgage bank...

I am set up for paperless billing, and e-notifications, so my heart raced. My bank only writes to me when there is a problem.

I worried that my last payment did not go through. That would mean the check bounced and there would be a fee from the mortgage bank and my regular bank.

Or was it something else?

I had recently renewed the fire insurance policy, and my broker ensured me that all was in order. Was there a lapse? Did the policy expire? 

Cruise Control

When Dovid was escaping the wrath of King Shaul, his friend Yonasan advised him to hide out in the field and await his report on whether and when it would be safe to return home. 

Yonasan devised a plan with which to secretly convey this information to Dovid.

Yonasan told Dovid: "My servant and I will go out to the fields where you are hiding. I will shoot arrows and tell my servant to fetch them. Listen closely to what I tell him: If I tell my servant 'the arrows are close to you', then you will know that it is safe to return home... 

ואם כה אומר לעלם 'הנה החיצים ממך והלאה' - לך, כי שילחך ה

"But if I tell him 'the arrows are further away', then go, for Hashem has sent you..."
(Shmuel I, 20:22)

Yonasan did not tell Dovid, "Go, because my father is still upset with you." He told him, "Go, for Hashem has sent you."

Gevald or Gevaldik

Chaim Yankel was beside himself. He phoned the police to report that thieves had been in his beloved car.

"Gevald! They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," he moaned.

Five minutes later the phone at the police station rang again. It was Chaim Yankel.

"Gevaldik!" Chaim Yankel exclaimed joyfully. "I just realized I got in the back seat by mistake."

***

The Ba'al Shem Tov teaches that the forty-two journeys that the B'nei Yisroel traveled between Mitzrayim and Eretz Yisroel are a metaphor for the journeys that are traveled by a Yid throughout his lifetime.

The question is asked: some of the journeys involved events that were displeasing to Hashem, and some were outright acts of rebellion against Him. How can we say that also these negative-experience journeys are a part of The Plan?

Who's Driving?

A wealthy man was once riding along the countryside and saw a crippled beggar sitting on the side of the road. After receiving a few coins from the wealthy man, the cripple asked him for a ride into the city.

The wealthy man felt compassion for the cripple, and helped him up to the horse, giving him the front seat and even allowing him to hold the reins. The cripple was most appreciative. The wealthy man got up behind the cripple, and together they rode the horse into the city.

Strangely enough, upon arriving in the city and into the crowded marketplace, the cripple turned to the wealthy many and said: "Now you may get off the horse, and I will ride myself to my house."

Who's Calling?

ויקרא אל משה וידבר ה' אליו

At first, it does not say who called Moshe. Yet, Moshe does not falter or ask “who is speaking to me?”

This is immediately followed by וידבר ה' אליו.

There are times when we wonder: Why is this happening? Who is doing this? Things may reach a point where the Alef is small – we do not feel the presence of Hashem in the challenge. Things seem as if וַיִקֶר - Vayiker - they are happening by chance, without a plan, C”V.

But then we remember that the Alef is always there.

No matter how small His presence may seem, He is there. We need only to wait for Him to finish the verse, and we will see that He was there all along. 

May Hashem bless us with only revealed good. And when we are faced with challenges, may Hashem bless us to have true Bitachon, and that we merit seeing the revealed positive outcome of every situation.

Color War

Based on the Ma'amar להבין ענין חושן ואיפוד תשכ"ו.

The Ephod was woven with special threads, each one spun with a blend of different colors and materials. As well, unlike a regular apron, it was worn on the back of the Kohen Gadol, rather than on the front.

This uniquely varied blend of colors and materials, represents the wide-ranging and often conflicting character traits inborn within our psyches; the unique-to-each-individual's own blend of Midos, both good and bad. 

The Avodah of a Jew is to sort through these "colors", cultivate the good Midos, and transform the bad ones. 

Don't Be Content

Reading the news is so sad, painful and frightening. When I was a teenager, news affected me in a selfish way. It scared me personally, and indeed it certainly still does. But as I've "grown up", I've noticed that compassion has started to play a bigger role. As a teenager, it was, "How does this affect me." Now it's more like, "Oy, that's so terrible. Please, Hashem, end the suffering." I've started to understand the tiniest tip of the iceberg of Wanting Moshiach. I say the tip, because I am sure my desire for Moshiach is lacking much.

Cymbal of Hope

In honor of Chof Beis Shevat, Yahrtzeit of Rebbetzin Chaya Mushkah A"H

“Miriam took a tambourine, and all the women came out after her with tambourines.” (Shemos, 15:20)

It is understandable that Miriam, a Prophetess, foresaw the redemption, and prepared for herself a tambourine with which to celebrate. Yet, from where did the other women have tambourines?

Since the Egyptians must have had one or two tambourines with which to celebrate at their family festivals, etc. - and we know that the Jewish People took along the riches of the land when they left Egypt - we can answer that, along with all the other things, the Jews took the Egyptians’ tambourines.

Nevertheless, while many women would have had an Egyptian tambourine among their possessions, it is unlikely that all of the Jewish women had tambourines with them, yet, the Possuk says “…All the women came out... with tambourines” ?

Where did all the tambourines come from?

Wine of Hope

After revealing his identity to his brothers, Yosef instructed them to travel back to Eretz Yisroel and bring his father to Mitzrayim. Along with provisions for the way, Yosef sent a lavish gift to his father, along with - Rashi specifies - he sent aged wine.

The Rebbe teaches us that while the gift in general was a show of respect for his father, the aged wine had a double significance: it was an enhancement on the Mitzvah of Kibud Av Va'em, as aged wine is especially appreciated by older people. As well, the aged wine served as a special message for Yakov.

Our sages teach us that for the duration of Yosef's separation, the brothers did not drink wine. This was not a form of Teshuva, rather a form of mourning. 

In Hot Pursuit

“Please let water be taken to wash your feet, and recline in the shade of the tree. Let me take for you some bread…”

Once they accepted his invitation, Avraham served the three angels a meal fit for a king, replete with the choicest meat, fatty cream, fresh bread and milk.

Our Chachomim learn from this that a Tzadik says little and does much. Hence, Avraham’s offer for “a little bread” was, in the end, much, much more.

The question is raised: For a Tzadik who spoke little and did much, why did Avraham elaborate so much in the beginning of his invitation. “Please let water be taken, so that you can wash your feet, and rest under the tree.” Surely, a short, “Please come wash your feet and rest” would have sufficed.

Clean Those Lenses!

So once upon a time there was a man who had a pair of lenses he would wear. One day, he got a smudge on his lenses and he didn't bother wiping it off. The next day, another smudge. He was too busy to clean them. The smudges continued to accumulate until it came to a point that he forgot that the world was actually clear and had straight, smooth lines and features. He started to believe that everything didn't just appear smudged to him, but rather the world itself was actually and truly blurry.

Until one day, someone pointed out his problem to him. He was shocked and overjoyed to realize that he had only forgotten about the importance of cleaning his lens on a regular basis. Sure enough, now he could see things as they really were and from then on, he made sure to clean his lenses anytime they got smudged, so that the accumulation wouldn't happen again. He did not want to get used to that false reality ever again.

Now of course, you have probably figured out that this story is a parable. Obviously people don't think that the world itself is blurry just because their lenses are perpetually dirty. However, I have come to realize that in fact, it is very easy for us to get smudged lenses in a different way.

Three Jews, One Truth

A Chossid once consulted with his Rebbe, “I heard that it’s a good segulah for Parnasa to say Parshas Hamon (the portion of the Torah that describes the Jews’ eating the Mon in the desert).”

His Rebbe answered: “True, it is. But only if it is said before eight o’clock in the morning. After eight o’clock, you need to go out and work…”

***

Parnasa comes from Hashem. And, Hashem tells us what we need to do in order to receive it: וברכך בכל אשר תעשה. Parnasa will come in that which you do. Meaning, Hashem is commanding us to make a vessel in nature, a conduit through which His blessings will reach us.

A Blessing for Life

There is a custom among Zanz-Klausenberg Chassidim that the Rebbe throws apples to his followers, and it is said that the one who catches one is blessed with immense riches for the coming year.

Understandably, the large crowd of Chassidim who push to get an apple creates a potentially dangerous situation.

One year, the son of the Divrei Chaim of Zanz asked his father to abolish this custom. After refusing to uproot a custom that was kept for so many years, the son asked that the Rebbe at least announce that whoever will push, will receive ten years of poverty R”L instead of a blessing for riches. Again, the Rebbe refused. “The Chassidim come to be for Brochos, and I will give them the opposite?”

My Relationship with Hashem - Do I Have One?

Do I have a relationship with Hashem?

The simple answer is: Yes. Every single Jew has a personal and unique relationship with Hashem. 

But, do I sense my relationship with Hashem?  And if I do, does it bring up feelings of love? Anger? Indifference?  

***

Learning Torah and doing Mitzvos is valued by Hashem, even when it is done by rote or without specific intention to develop a relationship with Him. However, such an Avodah lacks the vitality and warmth that is the hallmark of a real relationship with Hashem. 

In order for our Avodah to have vitality, warmth and purpose, we need to give it meaning by developing our relationship with Hashem.

You may find the following "self-test" helpful for getting an idea of the current state of your relationship with Hashem, and use the ideas and inspiration below to further enhance it.

Of Seeds and Saplings - Part 1

The farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood, scooping up the wayward birds and returned them to the repaired crate.

Hoping he had found them all, the boy returned home...

"Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them."

"Well, you did real good, son," the farmer beamed. "I sent you home with seven."

***

We Daven to Hashem that we merit seeing the results of our Avodah. Sometimes Hashem blesses us with results that surpass our expectations. Other times, we need a strong Emunah and Bitachon to stay committed...

Dollars, Change and Sense

A business owner once asked a group of professionals: “What do you get when you add 100 + 100?”

The statistician said, “If you disregard a negligible percentage of odd cases, in most instances it would equal 200”

The economist answered: “It would depend on whether the value of the second 100 depreciated by the time the equation is factored…”

The engineer answered: “200, if you can ascertain they will hold together...”

The accountant looked around and whispered: “What do you need it to be?”

A tremendous part of Emunah and Bitachon is being able to distinguish between that which is in our hands to change and that which is not. Without this insight, one is liable to squander opportunities for making real change in an area that he can affect, while wasting his time and energy trying to change that which he cannot.

Counting Zeros... and Ones

A Chosid once shared with his Rebbe a concern he had about his father-in-law.

"Rebbe," the Chossid began, "I am sure it's not Lashon Hara, because I am concerned for his welfare..." He went on to tell his Rebbe that his father-in-law does not Daven. Anything.

"I even know where he keeps his Tallis, and kept a close watch and saw that it sits there for days on end... Rebbe, I'm begging you, please speak with him. Try to inspire him... I mean this for his benefit!"

After a few requests, the Rebbe called in the father-in-law to discuss the matter.

The father-in-law was straightforward. "Rebbe, I may not be a Tzaddik, but one thing I do not do: Lie. I just cannot lie, and for me to stand there every day, wrapped in my Tallis and Tefillin, and make believe that I am connecting with Hashem... when I am really thinking about everything in the world other than Him... I just cannot do it!  

"Believe me, Rebbe," he continued, "I have tried to push myself, but it's impossible. I am not really Davening. I'm just standing there, lying to the Aibershter... and to everyone around me!"

The Rebbe listened to the distraught Chossid. A true dilemma! He really was unable to "put on a show" day in day out...

Davening - the Ascent

As with the decline in Avodas Hashem, the ascent begins with Davening.

Needless to say, the Yetzer Hara does not make it easy. Hashem wants us to arouse emotion towards Him, yet, the Yetzer Hara of secular society tells us "no one can tell you how to feel"…

Yet, if Hashem expects such an Avoda from us, it must be possible.

But, how?

Firstly, we need to remember that Tefillah is an Avodah – work. As such, proper Davening does not come easy. For me, just the knowing alone that it is normal for a proper Davening to be challenging, helped me not to get discouraged and to keep trying.

Secondly, we need to remember to keep going even if it means just saying the words. An author once said that he made sure to spend time writing every day - even nonsense, because he wanted to be sure that when inspiration would hit, the pen would already be in motion. 

Davening – the Descent

Dedicated in loving memory of Chaya Basha bas Chaim Dovber, whose first Yahrtzeit was today, 29 Iyar. 

One morning last week as I was about to Daven, I took note of the mess that needed my attention. I wondered if it would be a good idea to clean up a bit before Davening... In the end I decided I’ll just read the Hayom Yom, clean a little, and then I’ll Daven.

Hayom Yom 23 Iyar,

The beginning of one’s decline, R”L, is the lack of Avoda in Davening. Everything becomes dry and cold. Even a mitzvah performed by habit becomes burdensome. Everything is rushed. One loses the sense of pleasure in Torah-study. The atmosphere itself becomes crass. Needless to say, one is totally incapable of influencing others. 

I was completely awed by the sheer Divine Providence of this Hayom Yom, as I was just about to push off my davening for something else… It also set me thinking about my own Davening journey.

Sure, a mother who has young children at home has a different set of obligations when it comes to Davening. Yet, after reading this Hayom Yom I started to wonder if perhaps I took those “leniencies” a bit too far, and, rather than utilizing these leniencies to actually bolster my Davening and serving Hashem, I was using these leniencies as excuses to lessen my Davening.