Clean Those Lenses!

So once upon a time there was a man who had a pair of lenses he would wear. One day, he got a smudge on his lenses and he didn't bother wiping it off. The next day, another smudge. He was too busy to clean them. The smudges continued to accumulate until it came to a point that he forgot that the world was actually clear and had straight, smooth lines and features. He started to believe that everything didn't just appear smudged to him, but rather the world itself was actually and truly blurry.

Until one day, someone pointed out his problem to him. He was shocked and overjoyed to realize that he had only forgotten about the importance of cleaning his lens on a regular basis. Sure enough, now he could see things as they really were and from then on, he made sure to clean his lenses anytime they got smudged, so that the accumulation wouldn't happen again. He did not want to get used to that false reality ever again.

Now of course, you have probably figured out that this story is a parable. Obviously people don't think that the world itself is blurry just because their lenses are perpetually dirty. However, I have come to realize that in fact, it is very easy for us to get smudged lenses in a different way.

We live in a physical world, that presents us with all sorts of ideas, experiences and impressions. On a daily basis, we are exposed to data that ALWAYS goes into our system and is registered somewhere, on some level. Even data that we are not consciously choosing to pay attention to, still gets registered. We pick up this data when we read a casual article in a magazine, speak to other people, go shopping, or simply even walk down the street. Over time, we begin to perceive our world through the lenses that have been "smudged" by these messages.

One who is not actively cleaning his lenses, eventually comes to believe that his smudged perception of life is the reality, when in fact, it is just his perception. The reality is entirely different. The reality is the way the Torah defines it to be. The way our Rebbeim define life to be. And yet, as we imbibe messages on a constant basis, our lenses get smudged and we can start to perceive life through the worldly definition, even without meaning to do so.

How can we keep our lenses clear?

Step 1 is to start acknowledging that messages abound, overt and subliminal, all around us.
Step 2 is about starting to check in with Torah, Torah teachers, and the examples of righteous people in our past, to determine whether these are true for us as Yidden, or they are worldly smudges that can blur our perception.
Step 3 is about making an active, mental statement. "This message/idea is not true to Torah, I will not accept it." This active step of putting up a stop sign to non-Torah messages, is extremely important.

Let's give some examples: Suppose you read an article in a magazine, even a Jewish one, and the article addresses the "need to set up boundaries and stand up for yourself". So Step 1, take note, that this is an overt message about life in general. Step 2, check in with Torah. Does it say somewhere in Pirkei Avos that we need to stand up for ourselves, or it says, we should be extremely, extremely humble...? Did Avraham Avinu set up boundaries, or he opened his tent, day in and day out for guests, as did many of our ancestors? And is there ever a place for standing up for something? Do Yidden stand up for themselves or for Torah? Then, Step 3, after reading the article and acknowledging that it is in fact NOT a Torah message, one mentally states, "I will not accept this message. It is not true for me, as a Yid." (In cases that involve recurring abuse and dysfunction, a Torah authority should be consulted for Torah guidance.***)

Another example: A bus drives by with an ad for shampoo, displaying a woman with long, glowing hair. The messages here are subliminal. A message about beauty being a top priority, a message communicating that it's okay for women to be displayed publicly. Step 1, become aware that the ad leaves impressions, regardless of one's intention to notice it. Step 2, check in with Torah. Is external beauty a top priority or middos and yiras shamayim are top? Is it really permissible for a woman to be plastered on a bus for all to see, even if she might have been "tznius"? Or is a woman's beauty meant to be soft-spoken, refined, and inwards? The Torah holds the answers very clearly, as do the examples of our ancestors. Step 3, state mentally, "I know that this is not a Torah message. I do not accept this message into my being."

By maintaining such boundaries around ourselves and our homes, we can hope that the true Torah spirit and atmosphere will remain intact and we will march speedily out of this Galus, just as our forefathers in Mitzrayim, in the merit of their strict adherence to differentiate between themselves and the world around them.

***NOTE: This article refers to the general overuse of common secular ideas, in day-to-day life. In cases where there is recurring abuse or dysfunction, a rabbinic authority should be consulted. In which case, yes, Torah does support, even require, boundaries to be set. In fact, this is a necessary part of serving Hashem. But as a general rule, "setting boundaries" is just one example of a secular concept that has become a smudge in our perception of reality, causing people to perceive the need to set boundaries in areas that are not Torah-advocated. As well, because it has become so accepted, people may even assume they can set those boundaries without consulting a Torah authority.