My Relationship with Hashem - Do I Have One?

Do I have a relationship with Hashem?

The simple answer is: Yes. Every single Jew has a personal and unique relationship with Hashem. 

But, do I sense my relationship with Hashem?  And if I do, does it bring up feelings of love? Anger? Indifference?  

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Learning Torah and doing Mitzvos is valued by Hashem, even when it is done by rote or without specific intention to develop a relationship with Him. However, such an Avodah lacks the vitality and warmth that is the hallmark of a real relationship with Hashem. 

In order for our Avodah to have vitality, warmth and purpose, we need to give it meaning by developing our relationship with Hashem.

You may find the following "self-test" helpful for getting an idea of the current state of your relationship with Hashem, and use the ideas and inspiration below to further enhance it.

THE TEST

1. How often do I think about Hashem during the day? 
1. I really don't like to.
2. Once or twice a day.
3. Frequently.
2. When I think about Hashem, what is the general feeling I have, most of the time? 
1. Anger or guilt.
2. Indifference.
3. Gratitude, joy and safety. 
3. Do I feel resentment or anxiety when I learn of another way to grow in my Avodah? 
1. Yes. Most of the time.
2. Perhaps, some of the time.
3. No. I look forward to doing more. 
4. What do I think when I hear people talk with joyous passion about Yiddishkeit, Torah and Hashem? 
1. I think they're weird and out of touch with reality.
2. I think they're very ideal but they need to cool it down a notch or two.
3. I blossom and thrive in their presence. I look for opportunities to be inspired by them.
5. How do I react when I am faced with challenges? 
1. I get angry at life, people or Hashem.
2. I become afraid or depressed, and occasionally angry.
3. I may be somewhat anxious or sad, but I am aware that Hashem is good, and that this must somehow be good as well.
6. How do I react when I receive blessings in my life?
1. I don't think I have that many blessings in my life.
2. I notice and feel fortunate but sometimes fearful because I feel undeserving, or that I deserve more. 
3. I thank Hashem joyously, as my heart swells with awe at the Almighty's kindness to me.
7. How do I react when doing my Avodah and satisfying my personal desires are mutually exclusive?
1. I look out for myself and my needs first. 
2. I try to find a balance but find it hard to let go of my personal desires.
3. My desires are usually my Avodah. When they begin to clash, I know I'm losing sight of my purpose and I need to reconnect. 
8. What is my motivation for taking on new Hachlatos?
1. I’m not into that right now.
2. Guilt or fear.
3. Joy, gratitude, or the importance of doing what's right.
9. Why do I think I was put here in this world?
1. To get the most out of life.
2. To be a kind person and do good deeds.
3. To serve Hashem in whatever capacity and situation He places me in.
10. How do I feel when I think about the coming of Moshiach?
1. I can't really imagine it.
2. I know I should feel and hope, so I try, but I do a poor job at it.
3. I can't wait!

THE RESULTS

Mostly 1's - My relationship with Hashem is pretty negative.

Remember: a relationship, even negative, is a relationship nonetheless and has the potential to be transformed into a richly positive one. You may have gone through great challenges in your life and might not want to nurture that relationship. Stay tuned for My Relationship with Hashem – Why Should I?

Mostly 2's -  My relationship is neutral. Not too hot, not too cold.
There’s a part of you that cares. Even if you feel like you don’t really relate to Hashem much altogether, identifying the status of your relationship is the first step towards improving your relationship with Hashem. With a few small steps you can begin to nurture your relationship with Hashem. See My Relationship with Hashem - How to Want, for ideas. Don’t be afraid to reach out to others for help along the way.

Mostly 3's - My relationship is joyful and vibrant.

It's a Bracha! Open a Tehillim and say Chapter 100, thanking Hashem for your wonderful relationship with Him. Realize that you were given this gift so that you may share it with others. Enjoy reading My Relationship with Hashem – What To Want.

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Regardless of our rating, each individual's life journey is unique and precise. Every person’s path through life was pre-ordained with what Hashem knows is perfect for them. May we all grow to a point where we can look back at our journey, smile, and realize why it had to be the way it was.

As well, let us be aware that our relationship with Hashem may change at different times in our life; it may even temporarily slide into a less positive state. If this happens, we need just to reach out to those who guide us, and recommit to the practices that kept our relationship with Hashem alive. In due time, and with Hashem's help, we get back to an even higher level than before.

And of course, regardless of whichever category we presently find ourselves in, (even a 'Mostly Threes'), we have the obligation and opportunity to continue enhancing and growing our relationship with Hashem.

May we be blessed to see the fruits of our labor, and enjoy a glowing, close and joyful relationship with Hashem!