My Relationship with Hashem – What to Want

Of the many ideas Rabbi Manis Friedman shares about Marriage, there is one that I would like to dwell upon - “The Three Pillars of Marriage: Kindness, Respect, Sanctity”  - and draw a parallel to an existential part of our lives: our relationship with Hashem.

While Kindness - giving seems to be the most obvious pillar, it is not enough. There also needs to be Respect, oftentimes expressed in not giving. Rather, out of respect for the other, we limit, or refocus the scope of the giving, to be in line with what the other wants. For example, I have the humility to withhold giving that which I know my spouse does not want. 

Let us explore Kindness and Respect within the context of our relationship with Hashem – after all, Marriage is the human manifestation of our bond with Him.

Before we can go further, we need to surrender to a basic tenet of Yiddishkeit:
אני נבראתי לשמש את קוני, I was created to serve my Creator, or, more powerfully, perhaps:
איני נבראתי אלא לשמש את קוני I was only created to serve my Creator.

Since my entire purpose is to serve Hashem, therefore, everything I do must serve this purpose: with Kindness – I give to Him, and with Respect – in the way He wants.

Everything more or anything less than that is not a true relationship.

If I am going to give to Hashem something which He does not want, then I am not serving Him. By extension, I am not creating a truly intimate relationship with Him, and I am surely not fulfilling my purpose in life - which leaves me feeling empty and… well, purposeless.

In fact, when I do not do what Hashem wants, I am simply being selfish, and selfishness has never created or nurtured a truly loving relationship with anyone.

Since I want a truly loving relationship with Hashem, I must exercise humility and counter all the “I want…” statements with “What does Hashem want?”

 Click here for My Relationship with Hashem - How to Want. 
To learn more from Rabbi Manis Friedman, click here.