Giving Your Child a Voice

When the Hagadda begins the answer to the Four Questions, it inserts אמר ר' אלעזר בן עזרי'ה... a general discussion about whether one is obligated to mention Yetzias Mitzrayim at night.

Now, of all nights, isn't the night of Pesach the one night in the year for which there surely is no disagreement as to this obligation? Why mention this discussion on Leil Haseder?

Actually, inasmuch as leaving one's personal Mitzrayim is a daily struggle, this discussion gives us the proper perspective on how to achieve this important objective – especially on the night of Pesach, during which the importance of the Jewish child is highlighted and celebrated.

To understand this, we must first accept the absolute necessity for the first and most basic requirement for true Yetzias Mitzrayim: the slave has to know that he is a slave and want to leave his slavery. Without this, even Moshe Rabbeinu cannot set him free!

In order to leave our personal "Mitzrayim", we need to first identify the thoughts and feelings that bind us and enslave us to "Pharaoh". We must distinguish ourselves from our deficiencies that shackle us and hold us back. Only then can we hope to disengage ourselves from our slave mentality and become free, happy servants of Hashem.

While this can be easier for an adult, how can this be expected from a child, whom the Hagadda now seeks to inspire?

To answer this, the Hagadda brings the above-mentioned discussion, and quotes Ben Zoma.

Although Rabbi Elazar Ben Azaria was a Tzaddik and Nasi, his opinion was not accepted until a seemingly insignificant Ben Zoma came along. Actually, Ben Zoma did not even receive Smicha, hence, he was not even mentioned by name, only by his father’s name. Nevertheless, his opinion held and became accepted as Halacha forever!

How is this possible?

Because Ben Zoma's father believed in him. Despite his obvious lack of formal recognition in the world of Torah, his father stood behind him and reassured him, “Don't be distracted by your lack of recognition... I believe in you!" 

By using his own name to back his son, Zoma showed that he believed in him. With such a show of confidence in his ability, Ben Zoma was able to get past his own flaws – his slave mentality - and was able to achieve the greatness waiting for him just outside the doors of his "Mitzrayim". 

When we show our children that we believe in them, they can start believing in themselves. Thus empowered, they can free themselves from their own debilitating slave mentality and achieve their full potential as servants of Hashem.  

What better way to set the tone for Leil Haseder than by showing our children that we are their greatest fans - giving them the confidence to leave their Mitzrayim.

From a Dvar Torah by Rabbi Shmuel Kuperman

Click here for I Want to be Free... Now What? - the next steps to leaving Mitzrayim Click here for Me, Myself and My Yetzer Hara - recognizing the distinction.