I have found the following exercise to be very helpful
in developing a healthy self-image and remaining focused on my Tafkid. It
revolves around differentiating between the real "Me" and the Yetzer Hara
part of me.
The true "Me" wants Torah, Mitzvos, Hashem, and Shalom. The part of me that wants anything that clashes with the above is not "Me". It's my Yetzer Hara.
Once I acknowledge that, it is a lot easier to veer away from the tricks of the Yetzer Hara.
Instead of saying “I want to play games on my phone...”, I make the distinction “My Yetzer Hara wants me to waste time, the real "Me" wants to serve Hashem now.”
Instead of feeling, "I am anxious." I acknowledge, "My Yetzer Hara
wants to scare me so I won't be able to serve Hashem properly."
Instead of "I must speak up about this matter, otherwise..." Rather, "My Yetzer Hara wants me to become angry about this matter, the real me does not get angry."
Here are three benefits to this approach:
1. It is truly accurate.
2. It allows me to tap into the fact that the real
"I" is all about Kedushah. My essence is pure goodness and is
untouchably sacred.
3. It busts the Yetzer Hara's trick of convincing me that
these desires are "mine". While I still take responsibility for my
choices, this thought process helps me disown the habits, feelings and thoughts
that come in the way of true Avodas Hashem. They are not “me” or my true
desires.
Because if the Yetzer Hara can convince me that they are
"mine" then I think that I need them and I will go to great
lengths to satisfy them. However, if they are not mine, it is remarkably easier
to let go of them and refocus myself on serving Hashem and accessing true
happiness inherent in being my true self.
Simple?
The next time I think that I "need" something, or I am experiencing a negative emotion that I think I need to experience, I will ask myself, "Does this bring me closer to Torah, Mitzvos, Hashem, or Shalom?" If any one of those is being compromised, I can be sure that the Yetzer Hara has temporarily convinced me that the real "I" needs this.
I must separate the real "me" from these
desires, and Daven to Hashem to help me refocus and center myself around the above
principles: Torah, Mitzvos, Hashem and Shalom.
Please feel free to share examples in the comments below of areas where you have been able to differentiate between the real, precious, and G-dly "Me" that is the true you, and the sneaky invader called the Yetzer Hara. Let's converse about the challenges that come up when we try to circumvent this trick.
Thank you for sharing, Rivkie.
ReplyDeleteNo examples yet. I think it's going to be a journey till I will be able to apply this in "real time".
I'm probably only going to remember this a few seconds *after* my next poor choice...
Any ideas?
Your honesty is admirable.
DeleteRemembering before the choice is a process. It begins with remembering afterwards, and with continued awareness and avodah, the remembering begins to happen during the choice and then, eventually, beforehand.
Wow i love it Rivkie!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you do!
DeleteFirst of all thank you Rivky thank you for distilling basically all of Chassidus in such short precise way.
ReplyDeleteAs anonymous wrote- it's deffinitely a long journey, and a goal to achieve. But the first step is to be AWARE of on a practical way what Rivky so eloquently put. We all have heard it in theory once appn a time - but being realizing this is how we supposed to live is deffinitely the first step to starting to implement it step by step...
Thank you! You write a "goal to achieve." I'd like to ease the burden, so to speak, and suggest that its not about a long-term achievement, but about the singular moments that we can do what's right. Simply put, you don't have to "get there", but rather appreciate the milestones you achieve on the journey.
DeleteIn connection to rivkies response, I think you may enjoy hearing a short dose of pre-pesach inspiration that's recipient rded on chazak. 718-258-2008 option 5 and then option 9. She expands on rivkys point.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this, Shiffy! You have so much to offer :) I'm going to try calling that number today BezH, while I prepare for Shabbos.
Delete